Paging Dr. Oz

I've never had a parasite. I don't know what a parasite feels like. I don't even know what it looks like. Despite this ignorance, I'm 100 percent confident I have a parasite living in my being. It all started four days after I arrived back in the States. Dawn and I tried eating at Sampaio on Friday night, and I spent the entire time not at the table. I've never experienced stomach pains like I was experiencing that night.

So we went to the Pro Med minor emergency clinic on Anderson Lane. The "nurses" behind the counter were eating fried chicken and licking their fingers as I was being admitted. That scene combined with the smell of sick was enough to put me over the edge. In classic Dawn form, she came prepared and brought a bag full of goodies to pass the time: Oprah magazines, a blanket, bottled water and bean bags for juggling. According to her, "it's impossible to worry and juggle at the same time."

The doctor gave me lomotil which he described as a "colon-seizing" medication. Sounded good to me. I spent the rest of the weekend in Temple with my parents getting some rest. The stomach pains continued.

Monday came and went. No change. Tuesday and Wednesday came. No change and no work. I eventually went to my normal doctor. She said the lomotil was the worst thing the doctor could have given me. They prescribed 500 grams of Cipro and did lab work. I'm still waiting to find out if I have a little Chinese parasite living inside me.

If you finished reading this blog post, thank you. Listening to someone else's sickness is like viewing their vacation photos.